Summer Style from Darth

So because I joined the Dark Side I'm not allowed to make any wardrobe choices? I am supposed to just wear black on black, day-in and day-out? What if Darth wants to show a little style? I think I look great here. Bright colors are in this summer and if you are going to wear a cape, why not make it a turqoise silk cape?

Via DanKelly81

My Cats Are All I've Got

When you lose your arms and legs, and your position as the leader of the Empire, you find friends wherever you can. I call that short one that can't reach the ball of string, Yoda. He's not my favorite, so I tease him a lot. I have a really fat one I call Jabba, and that black one there is Lando. I totally understand why lonely old ladies get so many cats. Throw a little catnip on the floor and watch them lose their minds. I haven't giggled like that since Alderaan blew up.

Via DwreckM

Oops I Crapped My Pants

So, long story short I shit my pants today. Was at the local army navy store, felt that sinking feeling in my stomach, dropped the two graphic tees and Vietnam era jacket I had and made a run for it. I hopped in my 82 Dodson and was off. For about 5 minutes I thought I was going to make it, but no...wasn't meant to be. I was screaming out the window at drivers, which is tough for me with this voice box, and slowly but surely it just crept out like Han after a one-nighter. I slammed my car into the closest parking spot I could find, ran for some trees and unleashed hell. After I was finished burning the evidence and bathing in a local pond I came back to find my car with a parking ticket. Honestly though, best $25 I ever spent. There is something about that feeling when you are about to shit yourself. You would literally trade anything for a toilet and a locked door. If yoda himself had walked up to me and offered me a toilet if I turned away from the dark side I would have done it faster than you can say Jack Robinson. Give up women? Done, I don't get any anyway. Never drink ice cold delicious Bud Light again? For sure! Stop watching Dawson's Creek? Eff that I'd just crap everywhere. Nothing can keep me from Pacey...nothing.

DD