It's that time of year again.

I know it's Halloween Leia, but for eff sakes show some self-respect

So, it is that time of year again.  When everyone dresses up in costumes and me and the freaks get to feel normal.  For the most part this is all in good fun, but it also spells doom for a young relationship.  Believe me I know.  You are dating a girl and pretty psyched about the upcoming halloween party where you will make her and all your buddies roll on the floor laughing with your enormous whinnie the poo outfit, but then disaster strikes.  Your new gf shows up looking like a street walker who's pulled out the big guns for that final push to get the quarterly pimp bonus.  "Yeah you totally look like a witch, but let me ask you this, is it part of your craft to have your ass showing and half a boob hanging out?"  I've seen it a thousand times.  Guy feels insecure, boozing ensues and it usually ends in a screaming match that the whole party silently enjoys.  Meanwhile every dude at the party is trying to nail your girlfriend and you look like a D-Bag.  Well dudes, darth has the solution.  Spin the game right around on them.  Yeah you know what I mean, show up with your balls hanging out.  Oh, that isn't where you thought I was going to go?  Well let me tell you a little story about Padme and this little party we had on Coruscant back in the day.  I show up dressed as Obi-Wan b/c that is funny and you know it.  Padme shows up as a driod, but apparently this droid loves body paint instead of actual metal.  Yeah we get it Padme, you got a great body, but I don't need the rest of the jedi going from six to midnight in here.  After about 8 whip-its and some sea breezes I'm screaming my ass off about being tempted by the dark side and calling her a slut.  Well, the next year old Darth pulled the balls trick.  Everyone was so fixated/grossed out that they paid no attention to Padme and her "sexy emperor" costume. On top of that, no one effs with a dude who walks around with his balls out...no one.

Bottom line, no relationships at halloween unless they are over a year.  Do whatever you have to do, break up, fake your death, fake her death, something.  Halloween=boozy=sluts=your gf going home with some AC Slater dude who uses fake tanner.  You'll thank me later.

---Darth