So, long story short I shit my pants today. Was at the local army navy store, felt that sinking feeling in my stomach, dropped the two graphic tees and Vietnam era jacket I had and made a run for it. I hopped in my 82 Dodson and was off. For about 5 minutes I thought I was going to make it, but no...wasn't meant to be. I was screaming out the window at drivers, which is tough for me with this voice box, and slowly but surely it just crept out like Han after a one-nighter. I slammed my car into the closest parking spot I could find, ran for some trees and unleashed hell. After I was finished burning the evidence and bathing in a local pond I came back to find my car with a parking ticket. Honestly though, best $25 I ever spent. There is something about that feeling when you are about to shit yourself. You would literally trade anything for a toilet and a locked door. If yoda himself had walked up to me and offered me a toilet if I turned away from the dark side I would have done it faster than you can say Jack Robinson. Give up women? Done, I don't get any anyway. Never drink ice cold delicious Bud Light again? For sure! Stop watching Dawson's Creek? Eff that I'd just crap everywhere. Nothing can keep me from Pacey...nothing.
DD
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